bucketlist

Cashing Checks

~ SB ~ 1 Comment

Don’t let your mouth write a check that your tail can’t cash. – Bo Diddly

I gave up. That’s all. I was going to start with “I can’t believe I did it again”, but truth is I can believe it because I didn’t even try. I started this blog with all the fire, and then just tapped out like…nah.  Then of course, time did what time does and it went by quickly and I couldn’t catch up and it was too much time and it there was no point and and and

Well…

Happy New Year! *pours out a little for all the years that went by with no posts*

In my last post I said I wanted to catch you up on the Summer of 2015, which, at the time was one of the best summers of my adult life.  It was quite an amazing summer, but I never took the time to sit and figure out a cool way to document it and the thought of doing so now fills me with dread- so here’s the list: (Basic. Yes, I know.)

Family Reunion in St. Kitts √

Essence Music Festival √

Vermont √

College Tour (North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia) √

Myrtle Beach, SC √

Atlanta, GA √

Summers for me are generally just a random mix of things, as you can likely tell from this list. For some reason, Summer 2015 was just one of those ‘LIVE LIFE’ Summers *cue Lil Duval & Snoop* It was pretty epic.

It started off in Saint Kitts where I met family members I didn’t even know existed all these years, went to the beach, ate amazing food and just enjoyed my family. Wait, and TANNED. My complexion was unbelievable.

Followed that with a trip to Essence Music Fest in New Orleans with one of my best friends, France. That year we saw Missy, Usher, Kendrick (who, no offense, wasn’t super exciting to ME in concert at the time) and Mary J. Blige (SHE BROUGHT OUT METH!!).  We hit Bourbon Street. Pat O’Briens was not a friend to me!

resized_screenshot_20190110-124804_instagram_4529
Sade: 0 Bourbon Street: 1

After Essence I road tripped to Vermont for the first time.  It was a beautiful lodge and those few days spent there were not only relaxing but memorable. One of the men that worked at the lodge hitched a ride down the road that last day. Was pretty crazy considering I would NEVAH do it nor would I let someone in my car under any other circumstances!! I checked a new state off of my list with this one as well. 😉

screenshot_20190110-124818_instagram1
The Lodge at Mt Snow

One of my students had her heart set on attending an HBCU. As a huge proponent of HBCUs I wanted to help her in any way that I could.  One of the wack parts of living on the West Coast is there are none here, the closest is Langston in Oklahoma. Because of this, I decided to give her a small taste of HBCU life.  She did all the legwork (calling admissions, setting up tours) and I plotted the trip.  I brought my nephew (a recent HS grad at the time) along and we road tripped!  We went to Benedict College, North Carolina A & T, Johnson C. Smith, Alabama State University, Morehouse College, Spelman College, and Clark Atlanta University.  Each of these schools was amazing in its own right but they fell in love with A & T immediately.

While in Birgmingham we stopped at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute where they had an opportunity to view and listen to first hand accounts of the struggles during the civil rights movement.  We got to spend time with one of my best sister friends, the Memory Maker in North Carolina and we stopped at the outlets to shop on the way back. The experience was amazing.  Fast forward three and a half years and she is a flourishing junior at Morgan State University in Baltimore.  I could not be more proud!!

screenshot_20190110-150642_instagram1
Birmingham Civil Rights Institute

One of my Littles and that same nephew were going on a road trip to Myrtle Beach a few weeks later.  Apparently there’s a road trip theme that I somehow JUST realized *dial up, not high speed* We went to the beach, ate seafood, and just kicked it!

resized_screenshot_20190110-125015_instagram_5158
What we did at Crabby George’s should be a crime!!! Amazing!

Lastly, I went back to Atlanta to visit France again. We ended up at the Boyz II Men/ BBD concert and if I have to tell you how that was, you are not a friend to me!!

All in all the Summer of 2015 was amazing.  I set off my bucket list in grand fashion and have continued it over the years that followed.  That update is forthcoming.

I promised. I delivered.  It may not be fairy dust and unicorns but the check is cashed so I do indeed breathe a sigh of relief.

I will write another check right now however,  I’m back, I’m checking off items off my live life list, AND I’ll update you…more consistently!

So there.

See you soon.

XOXO

Sade

Bucket Listing

~ SB ~ 2 Comments

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well” – Diane Ackerman

The other day in my group messages with my Littles (sisters this time…there is a trend here) I asked them if they’d written bucket lists. One didn’t reply (because she is generally ornery and rude in this fashion) but the other said she would write one down in a few days.    We went back and forth a bit about it and one of the texts I wrote said:

” I’ve been looking at life..in general and my own and I’m like.. we spend our lives talking about sh*t we wanna do and never doing it. I just don’t want that to be my story anymore. I got bins and bins of STUFF and still got 4 continents I never stepped foot on. Nah”

Grammar is not a big deal in our group messages. It’s not a deal at all as you can probably tell.

Nevertheless that message is truly how I have been feeling for a few months now. I told a few friends I think I’m going through my pre-mid life crisis (I probably made that up) and we had a little laugh together over it. Truthfully however, I do feel that way…as though life could very well pass me by if I don’t get to doing some of the things my heart tells me to do.  In some ways it’s about making sure the things I am doing are things I am passionate about, things I feel are making me a better person in the end, things that will leave me satisfied with the life I led.

So here we arrive at a bucket list. Google definition states :a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. 

Now I know someone may be feeling a little iffy about the “lifetime” part of that definition but at the end of the day every one of our goals, everything in your planner,  calendar and set to alarm in your phone is something you want to accomplish during your lifetime. I don’t want you to walk away feeling as though bucket listing is what people do only when they’ve been given a year  to live (especially because if that were my diagnosis I would be laying in the middle of the street in Times Square, not thinking about a list of any kind). Everyone can make a bucket list, at any moment in life, with no focus on death.  And I believe they should.

Why Sha?

I’m glad you asked. Simply because if we don’t do those things our hearts tell us to do we aren’t really living a life at all. At least that’s the way I see it. I told you this before, I don’t want to wake up one morning at 60 thinking about how many things I wish I had done when I was younger. I would be remiss if i totally ignored the “morbid” fact that…here it comes…tomorrow isn’t promised man! And if you don’t plan to do the things you wish to do.. you might miss your chance. Period.

What should go on the list? Anything you know in your heart you want to do. Anything you’ve seen someone else do and said to yourself ” hey that looks pretty dope I wanna do that”. Anything you saw when you Googled “bucket lists”, or put on your Pinterest board. Anything your mom did and said was fun. Anything you saw in one of your very vivid, woke  you up in a cold sweat type dreams (just me?). ANYTHING. Does your bucket list have to be realistic? Only as realistic as you make it. Does it have to include trips? Of course not.Can it just be a list of things I want to do to make myself a better person? Of course. You may not desire to travel the world (though I would seriously suggest you rethink that), write down what  YOUR heart tells  you to write down.  Be really though, this is not a list making activity. Don’t just write these things down and never plan to do them. The writing is STEP 1.

Bucket List Ideas :

  • Watch the top ten IMDB movies (there are over 200.. you might want to, but Sade does not).
  • Buy something for someone in the drive thru behind you.
  • Take a day trip to the spa and get the works ( I plan to get it done asap, simply can’t believe I have never!)
  • Travel to all of the museums in your current state (most have a free/discounted day)
  •  All 50 states (I currently have…like half left sigh)
  • See all 7 wonders of the modern world ( who wants to join me?)

See? It is fairly simple. Write down the things you want to do, include a time line, work out the fees (if any), and DO them. You literally have nothing to lose if you do it…and so much to lose if you don’t.

So, who has a bucket list? Or is writing one now? Write a few of your own bucket list items in the comments…I look forward to stealing reading them.

-xoxo

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will”-Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft